The Answer
by Charlie O'Kelley
Summary: Kate's answer to Castle's question at the end of season 5


The Answer

Disclaimer: I do not own Castle, this makes no money just hopefully positive reviews.

Author's Note: Takes place at the end of Watershed (the end of season 5.) It is posted on the night of the Season 6 premier. Just as a note, I am spoiler free and I actually haven't even seen the preview of this episode yet and it will be on in ten minutes. I only learned the name of the episode yesterday even. I wanted this to be done before the premier so I rushed through the end a bit. I am thinking of a sequel but I can't promise, so this is listed as a completed one shot for now.

I walked away from the diner where I talked to my Dad and I knew what my decision was going to be. I knew that it would be hard to leave Castle and start anew in DC but it was what I had to do. I would have not even bothered with the interview but honestly, I didn't know where he and I were headed. I mean, was this just a fling or was this for real? I love him, I really do but I am not sure if he loves me as much. Sure, he was the first to admit it but, he had so much history. He had Kyra and Meredith and Gina. He had professed his love to all three of those women and who knows how many others and yet he walked away from each of them. Sure, Kyra left him but said that she expected him to follow. Meredith cheated on him but he didn't fight for her. And with Gina, they only ever fought.

I took a deep breath and headed back to the precinct. Everything seemed odd when I thought about how this would be my last case here at the Twelfth. I went into interrogation and as I was talking to the perp, I made a realization. I headed out to my desk knowing what I needed to do when I was stopped by the guys. They are such good friends, they wanted to make sure I was okay but I told them the truth. I needed to talk to someone else first, and they knew it was Castle.

I called him, a little afraid that he wasn't going to even pick up the phone. Luckily, he did and he was willing to meet me at our swing set in an hour. I wasn't sure how this meeting was going to go but it would at least decide several things for us. Dad had said that I should make my decision based on what I wanted and not by doing whatever just because I am afraid. That was good advice but it really didn't help too much because I was terrified. Terrified that he would hurt me or that I would hurt him. Either way, I was scared. I headed over to the swings, happy to see him but I wondered how happy he was going to be to see me.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I shouldn't have kept secrets."

"It's who you are. You don't let people in," he said making me feel terrible. "I've had to scratch and claw for every inch."

"Castle," I tried to explain.

"Please let me finish," he interrupted. "I've been doing a lot of thinking. About us, about our relationship. What we have, where we're headed. I've decided I want more. We both deserve more."

"I agree," I said sadly. I knew that he was going to end things.

"So, whatever happens, whatever you decide," he said as he moved off the swing to kneel at my feet. "Katherine Houghton Beckett, will you marry me?"

I sat there for a while, stunned. Truly stunned. If he had asked me before all this mess with the job interview, I would have 'yes' in a heartbeat. Now, I couldn't. I had to explain some things first. And beg for forgiveness.

"I guess no answer _is_ my answer," he said as his eyes and hand dropped.

"No, Rick," I said as I reached my hand out to him.

"Your answer is no," he said sadly, his eyes still downturned.

"No, my answer is that you need to sit down and let me explain some things."

"Kate-"

"No, you are going to let me finish this time. Please, Rick. Sit down," I asked him again. He listened to me this time.

"First of all, I need to apologize."

"You aren't going to answer my question?" he asked again. 

"I'll answer it but I need to explain some things first," I said.

"Yes or no. That's not too hard."

"Actually, it is. If I say 'yes' now, I'll never get a chance to say some of these things but if I say 'no' now, you will walk away and I'll never get to explain myself. So will you listen to me, please?"

"Go ahead," he said with a touch of anger buried in his voice. I understood, he wanted his answer and he didn't want to have to wait, he never was a patient guy. Except when he waited for me for so long.

"First, I would like to apologize. I shouldn't have lied to you about the trip to DC and the interview. I should have told you when I was first approached about it. I'm just not used to sharing all those types of things with anyone. I've never been in a relationship that has meant this much to me before."

"So this means something to you?"

"It means a lot, Rick. But as my dad pointed out, this is where I usually do something to wreck the relationship. It doesn't take me a trip to my therapist to know that I'm afraid of people leaving me. First my mom then my dad was lost in a bottle. It seemed as if all the really important people in my life left me so I would leave them before they could hurt me." I paused for a moment, part of me expecting that he will insist that he wouldn't do that, but he say that.

"You talked to your dad?"

""Yeah. He can be a really good sounding board. He lets me talk it out myself and come to my own decision."

"That's good. My mother just usually tells me what to do," he said as his lips quirked into a half smile. "The annoying thing is, she's usually right."

"When I was talking to my dad, I was thinking about my career and how this job would be a huge step forward for me," said as I reached out to take his hand in mine. I both needed to touch him in some way and also to make sure that he didn't try to get up and leave before I could finish what I needed to say. "I knew that if I took the job, it would hurt you and I don't want to do that. I also knew that if I didn't take it, I might resent you because I would have always wondered if I had made the right decision or not."

"So you made your decision," he stated, obviously wanting me to hurry up and tell him what it was.

"I thought I did. I went back to the precinct thinking that I was wrapping up my last case here," his eyes dropped and I held tighter to his hand. "When I got there though, I realized that is my home. I belong here with the job and the people I love."

"What about your career? I thought this would be a huge step for you."

"It would be but it would also be a step away from the people that I'm trying to help. Sure I might be able to help with the big picture, make national news all the time, but what about the regular people? Like my dad and I? We weren't national news but it was the most important thing to us that Mom was gone. We didn't have someone fighting to find out the truth for us."

"You could do so much though," he said.

"I know. People keep telling me how good of a cop I am and how this is great for me but honestly, I'm only this good because of my team. Lanie, the boys, and some writer who keeps following me around, I'm only good because I have them beside me."

"A writer, huh?" he said with a small smile.

"Yeah," I smiled back at him. "I'm going to call them back in DC and tell them thanks but no thanks. I may see about helping them on a consultant basis here in New York but that would be something I would have to discuss with a couple of people first."

"Are you going to be happy staying with the NYPD?"

"There is plenty that I can do in there still. It seems I was just a few months younger than Gates when we both became detectives, maybe I can do it again and be the youngest female captain too."

"You aren't taking the job?" he asked, hope creeping back into his voice.

"No. And it's my decision because it is what is best for me. I didn't decide this because this is the best for us."

"I'm just glad that what is best for you is what is best for us," he said with a smile. I also noticed that he pulled the ring back out of his pocket.

"As for your question..." I started.

"Your answer is going to be?" he asked, smiling that adorable smile that I have always loved.

"You know that I like intimate and that you like big so I will consider this a trial run for the next time that you want to ask in a way befitting the name of Castle."

"So your answer will be?" he repeated, his smile wider.

"You will need to ask again to find out," I teased him. "I will tell you one thing though. I love you, Rick."

"I love you too, Kate," he again pocketed the ring then reached out to pull me to his swing. I twirled my arms around his neck and pulled his lips to mine.


End file.
